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In Part 1 of this series, we explored the physiology of your stress response system—how chronic maternal stress keeps your HPA axis stuck “on,” elevating cortisol and affecting every system in your body. Understanding the science is powerful, but recognizing when your body is struggling is crucial.

Your body has a sophisticated communication system designed to alert you when your stress response is overloaded. The problem? As mothers, we’ve become incredibly skilled at ignoring, dismissing, or powering through these signals. We tell ourselves “everyone feels this way” or “it’s just part of motherhood” or “I’ll deal with it later.”

But here’s what I need you to understand: these warning signs exist for a reason. They’re not obstacles to push through, they’re your body’s way of saying “I need support NOW before things get worse.”

As someone who’s coached women through stress recovery, I can tell you that the women who recover fastest are the ones who catch stress early. By the time you’re in severe burnout, recovery takes much longer than it would have with early intervention. I can personally attest to this.

In this post, we’ll cover:

• Early warning signs (the subtle signals you’re probably dismissing)
• Moderate warning signs (when stress interferes with daily life)
• Severe warning signs (red flags that demand immediate attention)
• Why we ignore these signals and how to stop
• When it’s time to seek professional help

If you’ve been feeling “off” but can’t quite put your finger on why, or if you know something’s wrong but keep rationalizing it away, this post is for you.

Let’s learn to listen to what your body is telling you.

Early Warning Signs: The Subtle Signals You’re Dismissing

These are the first whispers from your body that your stress response system is struggling. They’re easy to dismiss because you can still function, but catching stress at this stage makes intervention much more effective.

Physical Early Warning Signs

Your body starts sending subtle physical signals when cortisol patterns begin to shift:

Energy & Sleep:

• Waking up tired despite getting adequate sleep (blunted morning cortisol)
• Needing more caffeine than usual to function
• Afternoon energy crashes that weren’t there before
• Feeling like you’re “running on fumes” by evening

Appetite & Cravings:

• Increased cravings for sugar or carbs (your body seeking quick energy)
• Appetite changes: either eating more or less than normal
• Using food for comfort more than you used to

Physical Tension:

• Tension in shoulders and neck by day’s end
• Jaw clenching you notice occasionally
• Slightly shorter fuse with kids or partner
• Minor digestive upset (bloating, irregular bowels, occasional nausea)

Why these matter: Your body is already working harder than it should to maintain baseline. These aren’t “just tired” or “just busy”. These are your cortisol awakening response becoming blunted, your blood sugar regulation shifting, and your sympathetic nervous system staying more activated than it should.

Cognitive Early Warning Signs

Your brain function begins to show subtle changes:

• Occasional forgetfulness – “Where are my keys… again?”
• Difficulty concentrating on complex tasks that used to come easily
• Taking longer to complete routine tasks because everything feels harder
• Mild procrastination on non-urgent items
• Reduced creativity or problem-solving ability
• Reading the same paragraph multiple times without retaining it

What’s happening: Chronic cortisol elevation is starting to affect your hippocampus (memory center) and prefrontal cortex (executive function). Research shows that even mild chronic stress impairs working memory and attention.

Emotional Early Warning Signs

Your emotional regulation starts to shift:

• Feeling slightly more anxious than usual
• Less patience with minor annoyances
• Reduced enjoyment of activities you normally like
• Persistent guilt or worry that’s hard to shake
• Occasional overwhelm when looking at your to-do list
• Feeling like you’re always “on edge”

The danger at this stage: These symptoms are subtle enough that you can still function, so you keep going. But your body is already under strain. This is the optimal time for intervention, before your stress response system becomes more dysregulated.

Think of it like this: you wouldn’t wait until your car completely breaks down to address a “check engine” light. These early symptoms are your body’s check engine light.

If you’re recognizing yourself in these early signs, the strategies in Part 3 (coming next week) can help you address this before it progresses. You don’t need to wait until things get worse.

Moderate Warning Signs: When Stress Interferes With Daily Life

At this stage, symptoms are interfering with your daily life, but you’re still managing to keep all the plates spinning….barely. This is where most of the moms I work with finally recognize something is wrong.

Physical Moderate Warning Signs

Your body is now sending louder, more persistent signals:

Sleep Disruption:

• Persistent fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest
• Difficulty falling asleep despite exhaustion (elevated evening cortisol)
• Waking between 2-4 AM regularly (cortisol and blood sugar fluctuations)
• Unrefreshing sleep – waking up as tired as when you went to bed
• Racing thoughts that make it impossible to quiet your mind

Physical Symptoms:

• Frequent headaches or migraines (often from tension and stress)
• Digestive issues becoming regular – IBS symptoms, nausea, appetite changes
• Getting sick more frequently – catching every bug the kids bring home
• Noticeable weight changes (gain or loss) without trying
• Heart palpitations or chest tightness (always check with your doctor to rule out cardiac issues)
• Muscle tension that’s constant, not just end-of-day
• Jaw clenching or teeth grinding, especially at night

What’s happening: Your disrupted cortisol patterns are now significantly affecting multiple body systems. Sleep architecture is compromised (cortisol should be low at night but isn’t). Your immune system is suppressed (chronic cortisol reduces immune function). Your digestive system is affected (sympathetic dominance slows digestion).

This mirrors the symptoms I experienced when I ignored my own early warning signs, something I discuss in my post on managing mom burnout.

Cognitive Moderate Warning Signs

Brain fog and cognitive struggles become significant:

• Significant “mom brain” – forgetting appointments, conversations, or tasks regularly
• Difficulty making even simple decisions – “what’s for dinner” feels overwhelming
• Brain fog that interferes with work or daily tasks
• Reading comprehension problems – can’t focus on articles or books
• Losing track of conversations mid-stream
• Memory problems that concern you (not just occasional forgetfulness)

The science: Research published in Neuroscience shows that prolonged cortisol exposure can actually reduce hippocampal volume and impair memory consolidation. This involves the process of moving information from short-term to long-term memory. This isn’t “just being forgetful”, this is a physiological response to chronic stress.

Emotional Moderate Warning Signs

Emotional regulation becomes significantly harder:

• Regular irritability or snapping at loved ones (then feeling guilty)
• Feeling overwhelmed most days (not just occasionally)
• Crying more easily than usual
• Persistent worry or anxiety about things you used to handle easily
• Decreased interest in hobbies or activities you once enjoyed
• Difficulty relaxing even when you have free time
• Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected
• Guilt and shame becoming frequent companions

What’s happening: Your amygdala (threat detection center) is hyperactive while your prefrontal cortex (rational thinking center) is suppressed. This creates emotional reactivity and difficulty with emotional regulation. Studies show chronically stressed mothers have heightened amygdala responses and reduced prefrontal cortex activation.

Behavioral Changes at the Moderate Stage

Your behavior starts to shift in noticeable ways:

• Withdrawing from social connections – canceling plans, avoiding friends
• Using food, alcohol, or other substances to cope more than before
• Avoiding tasks or responsibilities you used to handle
• Decreased self-care – skipping showers, not exercising, appearance changes
• Increased conflict with partner or children

The pattern at this stage: You’re aware something isn’t right, but you’re hoping it will get better when [insert future event]: “after the holidays,” “when school starts,” “when this work project ends.”

Here’s the truth: without intervention, it likely won’t improve on its own. Stress doesn’t resolve just because external circumstances change. Your stress response system needs active support to recalibrate.

If you’re recognizing yourself in these moderate warning signs, please don’t wait. The recovery strategies in Part 3(coming soon) can help, and professional support may be beneficial. The boundary-setting strategies I’ve written about can also significantly reduce demands on your nervous system.

Severe Warning Signs: Red Flags That Demand Immediate Attention

These are the alarm bells. Your body is no longer whispering but shouting that you’re approaching or in burnout territory. If you’re experiencing these symptoms, please take them seriously.

Physical Crisis Signs

Your body is in acute distress:

• Exhaustion so profound that basic tasks feel impossible
• Chronic insomnia or sleeping excessively without feeling rested
• Frequent illness – you catch everything and recover slowly
• Severe digestive problems – chronic IBS, loss of appetite, persistent nausea
• Significant heart symptoms – palpitations, blood pressure changes, chest pain
• Chronic pain – daily headaches, body aches, muscle tension
• Menstrual irregularities or loss of period (stress suppressing reproductive function)
• Significant unexplained weight changes
• Panic attacks or severe anxiety symptoms
• Dizziness or feeling faint regularly

Cognitive Crisis Signs

Your cognitive function is severely impaired:

• Severe brain fog that interferes with functioning
• Unable to concentrate or complete basic tasks
• Memory problems that scare you – forgetting important things, feeling confused
• Decision-making paralysis – can’t make any decisions, even small ones
• Disorientation or confusion
  

Emotional Crisis Signs

Your emotional state requires immediate intervention:

• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from everything
• Inability to feel joy even in moments that should be happy
• Persistent thoughts that everyone would be better off without you
• Fantasies about running away or disappearing
• Rage episodes that surprise and scare you
• Complete detachment from children – going through motions without feeling
• Hopelessness about situation ever improving
• Thoughts of self-harm or that life isn’t worth living

Behavioral Crisis Signs

Your behavior has changed in concerning ways:

• Unable to get out of bed or complete basic self-care
• Complete withdrawal from all social connections
• Significant increase in numbing behaviors – alcohol, medication, food, screens
• Neglecting responsibilities in concerning ways
• Considering leaving family or walking away from life

⚠️ If You’re Experiencing Severe Warning Signs:

This is the time to seek professional help IMMEDIATELY. This isn’t weakness, this is your body in a medical crisis.

Call right now:

📞 National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-943-5746

• Available 24/7
• Free and confidential
• Specifically for pregnant and postpartum people (but available to all mothers)

📞 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988

• Available 24/7
• For anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or mental health crisis

📱 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

• 24/7 text-based crisis support

📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

• If stress is compounded by relationship violence

Also call:

• Your doctor for an urgent appointment
• A therapist who specializes in maternal mental health
• Your partner, a trusted friend, or family member
• Local emergency services if you’re in immediate danger

Please don’t minimize these symptoms or wait to see if they improve. Severe burnout and maternal mental health crises are medical emergencies that deserve immediate professional support.

Research on maternal burnout: A landmark study published in Frontiers in Psychology identified maternal burnout as a distinct syndrome affecting up to 13% of mothers. These mothers showed flattened diurnal cortisol curves (similar to occupational burnout), higher inflammatory markers, and significantly increased risk for depression and anxiety. Early intervention prevents this cascade.

Why We Ignore Warning Signs (And How to Stop)

Understanding why we dismiss these signals helps us break the pattern. Here are the most common reasons moms ignore their body’s warning signs:

Cultural Messages That Silence Us

We’ve internalized harmful societal messages about motherhood:

“You should be grateful” – Dismissing legitimate struggles because “at least you have children”

“Other people have it worse” – Comparison minimizes your experience and makes you feel selfish for struggling

“This is just motherhood” – Normalizing dysfunction and suffering as inevitable

“You chose this” – Implying you don’t deserve support or complaints because motherhood was your choice

“Strong mothers don’t complain” – Valorizing suffering and silence, stigmatizing vulnerability

These messages teach us that our struggles aren’t valid, our pain doesn’t matter, and seeking support is weakness. But research shows that maternal stress is distinct, severe, and deserving of intervention—not something to silently endure.

Internal Beliefs That Keep Us Stuck

Beyond cultural messages, we have internalized beliefs that prevent us from seeking help:

“I should be able to handle this” – Perfectionism that sets impossible standards

“If I stop, everything will fall apart” – Martyr complex that makes us indispensable

“My needs don’t matter as much as my family’s” – Self-sacrifice that depletes us

“Asking for help means I’m failing” – Shame that prevents reaching out

“I just need to try harder” – Denial of our physiological limits

These beliefs aren’t truth! They’re barriers to getting the support we need and deserve.

Practical Barriers

Sometimes the barriers are logistical:

• No time for appointments – Childcare needs, work demands, scheduling conflicts
• Financial constraints – Therapy, coaching, medical care costs money
• Don’t know where to start – Overwhelmed by options, unsure who to call
• Fear of what you’ll discover – Avoidance of facing how bad things are
• Worry about judgment – From partner, family, friends, or even healthcare providers

While these barriers are real, they’re not insurmountable. There are solutions like sliding scale therapy, telehealth options, crisis hotlines, community resources.

How to Stop Ignoring and Start Listening

Breaking the pattern of dismissal requires intentional practice:

1. Reframe Self-Care as Self-Preservation

You’re not being selfish by addressing these symptoms, you’re preventing a more serious health crisis. Would you ignore chest pain? Severe infection? Broken bone? Your mental and physical health deserve the same priority.

2. Track Your Symptoms

Keep a simple journal or note on your phone. When you see patterns written down, they’re harder to dismiss:

• Physical symptoms (energy, sleep, pain, digestion)
• Emotional states (anxiety, irritability, sadness, numbness)
• Cognitive function (memory, concentration, decision-making)
• Behavioral changes (social withdrawal, coping mechanisms)

3. Tell Someone

Choose one trusted person, partner, friend, family member, or professional, and honestly describe what you’re experiencing. Sometimes hearing yourself say the words out loud breaks through denial. Research shows that social support reduces stress hormones and improves outcomes.

4. Compare to Six Months Ago

Ask yourself: “How did I feel six months ago compared to now?” If you’re noticeably worse, that’s objective evidence that things are declining and intervention is needed.

5. Give Yourself Permission

You don’t need to hit rock bottom before you deserve support. Early intervention is not only more effective, it’s smarter. Treating stress at the moderate stage prevents severe burnout.

Studies on burnout progression show that early intervention prevents the cascade into severe symptoms, but most people don’t seek help until they’re in late-stage crisis.

The Most Important Thing to Remember

If you’ve read this entire post and you’re recognizing yourself in the moderate or severe warning signs, please hear this:

Seeking professional help isn’t giving up or admitting defeat, it’s recognizing that chronic stress has real physiological effects that sometimes require more than self-help strategies to address.

Your stress response system may need expert guidance to reset and heal. You deserve support. You deserve to feel better. You deserve professionals who understand maternal stress and can guide you toward recovery.

If you’re on the fence about whether you need help, here’s my advice: reach out. Make the call. Send the email. Book the consultation. The worst that can happen is you gather information. The best that can happen is you start your journey toward feeling like yourself again.

Remember: asking for help when you need it is one of the most important skills you can model for your children. You’re teaching them that self-awareness, seeking support, and prioritizing health are signs of wisdom, not weakness.

Conclusion: Your Body Deserves to Be Heard

Your body has been trying to communicate with you. Those early signals you brushed off? The moderate symptoms you rationalized? The severe warning signs you’re hoping will pass? They’re all messages from a stress response system that desperately needs support.

Here’s what I want you to know:

Your symptoms are valid. They’re not “all in your head” or signs of weakness. They’re legitimate physiological responses to chronic stress.

Early intervention matters. The earlier you address stress, the faster and more complete your recovery. Don’t wait for rock bottom.

You deserve support. Whether that’s implementing self-care strategies, seeking professional help, or both. You deserve resources and support for recovery.

Recovery is possible. Your body has remarkable healing capacity when you provide it with what it needs and remove barriers to recovery.

Next week in Part 3, we’ll explore evidence-based recovery strategies that target the physiology we’ve been discussing. You’ll learn practical, science-backed interventions you can start implementing immediately to support your stress response system and begin your healing journey.

If you’re experiencing severe symptoms, please don’t wait for Part 3. Reach out for professional support now:

• National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-943-5746
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• Your doctor, therapist, or local emergency services

Your stress response system has been working overtime trying to protect you. Now it’s time to show it you’re listening and take action.

Related Posts You Might Find Helpful:

• Part 1: What’s Really Happening in Your Stressed Body – Understand the science behind your stress response system
• Managing Mom Anxiety: Practical Coping Strategies – If anxiety is your primary symptom
• Boundary Setting for Busy Moms: How to Say No Without Mom Guilt – Reduce demands on your nervous system
• Evidence-Based Self-Care Strategies That Actually Work – Simple interventions for stress reduction
• Beat Mom Fatigue: Proven Energy Foods for Sleep-Deprived Mothers – Nutrition support for stress recovery

Coming Next Week: Part 3 – Evidence-Based Ways to Support Your Stress Response System

Scientific References

This post is based on extensive research in stress physiology, maternal mental health, and burnout prevention. The information presented reflects current scientific understanding of how chronic stress affects mothers’ bodies and the importance of early intervention.

Key Research Areas Covered:

• Stress warning signs and symptom progression
• Maternal burnout as a distinct syndrome
• Early intervention and prevention strategies
• Professional mental health support for mothers
• Barriers to seeking help and how to overcome them

Selected Key References:

1. Mikolajczak, M., Gross, J. J., & Roskam, I. (2019). Parental burnout: What is it, and why does it matter? Clinical Psychological Science, 7(6), 1319-1329.
2. Mikolajczak, M., Raes, M. E., Avalosse, H., & Roskam, I. (2018). Exhausted parents: Sociodemographic, child-related, parent-related, parenting and family-functioning correlates of parental burnout. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 27(2), 602-614.
3. Roskam, I., Brianda, M. E., & Mikolajczak, M. (2018). A step forward in the conceptualization and measurement of parental burnout: The Parental Burnout Assessment (PBA). Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 758.
4. Lebert-Charron, A., Dorard, G., Boujut, E., & Wendland, J. (2018). Maternal burnout syndrome: Contextual and psychological associated factors. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 885.
5. Griffith, A. K. (2020). Parental burnout and child maltreatment during the COVID-19 pandemic. Journal of Family Violence, 37(5), 725-731.
6. Lindström, C., Åman, J., & Norberg, A. L. (2011). Parental burnout in relation to sociodemographic, psychosocial and personality factors as well as disease duration and glycaemic control in children with Type 1 diabetes mellitus. Acta Paediatrica, 100(7), 1011-1017.
7. Norberg, A. L. (2007). Burnout in mothers and fathers of children surviving brain tumour. Journal of Clinical Psychology in Medical Settings, 14(2), 130-137.
8. Kawamoto, T., Furutani, K., & Alimardani, M. (2018). Preliminary validation of Japanese version of the Parental Burnout Inventory and its relationship with perfectionism. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 970.
9. Sorkkila, M., & Aunola, K. (2020). Risk factors for parental burnout among Finnish parents: The role of socially prescribed perfectionism. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 29(3), 648-659.
10. Hubert, S., & Aujoulat, I. (2018). Parental burnout: When exhausted mothers open up. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1021.

Full reference list available upon request. If you’re interested in reading the primary research studies cited in this post, please contact me and I’ll send you the complete bibliography with links to original studies.

Please note: This content is for educational purposes and does not replace professional medical advice. If you’re experiencing severe stress symptoms, please consult with a healthcare provider.

About the Author

Jaime is a senior college instructor with an M.S. in Family and Developmental Studies and a certified health, life, and mastery coach. As a mother of two teenage sons, she understands firsthand the challenges of balancing motherhood, career, and personal wellbeing. After experiencing her own journey through stress and burnout, Jaime became passionate about helping mothers understand the science behind their symptoms and implement evidence-based strategies for recovery.